My #MeToo moment

I have a dear little friend, now 3 years old, with whom I’ve been having playdates throughout her lifetime. About six months ago, I had a troubling moment.

 I was changing little P’s pull-ups, and she was wriggling on the changing table. To entertain her as I cleaned her up, I started lifting her shirt and tickling her tummy. The first time I did it, she screamed (with what sounded like delight) and laughed. When I lifted her shirt to tickle her again a few seconds later, she screamed and laughed again—and yelled “No!” She seemed to love this game, and I continued to do it till I got her dressed and took her off the table. She ran off giggling and squealing “No!” She seemed to want me to play some more.

 Then suddenly the “No means no!” slogan flashed through my mind. And I stopped right there.

 Looking back, I’ve wondered about this moment. And I’ve finally come to a conclusion. Even when a little girl who’s having fun says no as part of a game, I’m thinking it’s a pretty good idea to step away from her body. Maybe both parties in an interaction need to know that no means no. Some of the men accused in #MeToo incidents seemed genuinely confused to learn they had crossed a line. And then, too, I think back to old movies in which a female protagonist demurely pretended to resist being “taken,” only to swoon with joy when her male counterpart persisted. 

 I’m an old lady now, and I really don’t know much about the sex lives of young women today. Do they still “play hard to get”? Do they enjoy being “swept off their feet”? Is that a problem? Should training to say no only when you mean no begin in toddlerhood? Or am I just being silly?

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