Twofers


Maybe it’s just me, but an object with a single function seems like a waste. So I’ve got reversible sunhats; a raincoat that is not only reversible but that also tucks inside itself to become its own container; handbags that can be origami’d into napsacks; combination tools; scarves that can be tied into a dozen different garments; ditto sarongs; skorts; sporks; a pen that doubles as a stylus; three-color pens; bifocals that turn into sunglasses when you step into the light; and an iPhone so large that it serves as a perfectly satisfactory ereader. And the iPhone case has a kickstand so I can read hands-free. Oh, and I’m typing on that same iPhone with the help of a tiny tri-fold keyboard that slips into my handbag (which converts into a napsack). It’s a form of multitasking, I guess. I also do kegels instead of focusing on my breath when I try to meditate (which isn’t often, since I find it boring and so unproductive).

But here’s the thing: None of these cleverly designed objects does as good a job at any of its multiple functions as an object that was designed to do a single thing. Which is frustrating. Why does the napsack juryrigged from a handbag look so much as if it was juryrigged from a handbag? Why is neither side of my reversible sunhats remotely flattering? Why does this damn keyboard have the shift key in the wrong place and no forward-erase? And why is there no way to turn off the Internet connection on the reading app of my iPhone so that the library doesn’t snatch back my books when they’re due but before I’ve finished reading them?

It doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve challenged my friends who are designers to create more elegant multitasking items. But so far they seem uninterested. They seem not to see the point. Isn’t one garment enough? Why do I need a garment to be two garments? 

I guess they’re right. As a recent retiree, I’m trying to adjust to mono-tasking in life as well as stuff, but I find it hard. It seems so inefficient, even though I really don’t need the time it saves, and I might be much more relaxed if I weren’t always trying to accomplish two things at once. But sitting in the park with my homely two-sided hat, typing on my kludgy makeshift (literally) keyboard, and knowing that the moment I tire of writing this I can flip my phone and beginning reading, I feel happy to be grumping about something besides Trump. And to have a universe that fits inside my convertible handbag.

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